I will be 40 in another 6 months time. It almost feels like more than 50% life is gone. While there are some wins, some notorious, it's mostly struggle and negativity in my life.
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Start exercising hard. You're not going to go pro, but 40-50 is the best decade to get into peak shape and participate in some new recreational sports or activities.
I may get some flak for this, but start paying attention to skincare. Botox + anti-aging treatments, well applied, can do an awful lot of good.
Stay up-to-date on new tech, particularly AI. Tyler Cowen was talking about this last month, basically saying that the people who are now 40 are going to be the ones most at risk of being left behind. (http://marginalrevolution.com/marginalrevolution/2025/05/wha...)
By codingdave 2025-06-2514:252 reply I understand the motivation behind this advice, but now that I'm past 50, I'd say that everyone needs to decide for themselves whether they are still pushing to maintain youth, or whether they are deliberately embracing aging.
At some point, you stop exercising "hard", and start exercising "enough". The point is the same - to stay healthy. But you are not going to hit your lifetime peak fitness. Instead, you want to build a solid base of strength so that you still are fully capable and mobile into your 70s and 80s.
As far as staying up on tech, again that depends on how long you really want to be in tech. Some people may want to remain technical for a couple more decades... but some of us are happy to let others take the lead, while we settle back into secondary positions, or pivot our ambition to leadership instead of hands-on work.
What I'd recommend is some deep introspection to decide for yourself whether you are young or old, and act accordingly. "old" !== "bad". It is more a decision of whether you are still climbing, or simply enjoying the ride at a comfortable cruising altitude. I might not get hired by startups or FAANG for being in cruising mode, but once you get to this point, you aren't interested in such jobs anyway.
The point is to figure out what is right for yourself, and don't push youth too far. There are natural changes to the pace of life as you age, and acceptance of that helps life satisfaction.
By cdaringe 2025-06-2518:59 Ya, I did what I thought was moderate (not high difficulty) exercise and with just slight imperfect form ended with a permanent life long injury that is manageable, but difficult and present every day. I was apparently vulnerable to it, but I only learned that after the fact.
Consistent, gradual, not too strenuous is a lesson I wish I would have learned before hand.
By scarface_74 2025-06-261:30 > I might not get hired by startups or FAANG for being in cruising mode
There is “One Weird Trick” to getting hired at FAANG as an old guy. Don’t try to get in as a software engineer. Amazon, Google and Microsoft all have cloud Professional Services department where they value a combination of technical knowledge, leadership, and communication skills and you don’t have to do the leetCode grind. They are all full time positions working directly for the companies with the same (but usually about 20% lower) compensation packages with cash + RSUs.
They are positions like Solution Architects, Account Managers, Engagement Managers, Sales, and billable consultants.
That’s how I got into AWS at 46 (no longer there) and until last year at least, Google/GCP was hiring former and current AWS ProServe employees like crazy. I ignored their outreaches because at 51 I would rather get an anal probe with a cactus than ever work at BigTech or any large company again and definitely won’t be going back into an office.
Don’t get me wrong, I have no issues with business travel (been there done that).
While I am still officially an IC these days, I spend most of my time either leading implementations, doing discovery sessions as a post sales architect and some hands on work when necessary.
Don't exercise too hard! I just injured my knee by ignoring pain and assuming it was tendonitis when in reality it was a cartilage tear.
Get those joint pains checked out by a doctor! It is easier to fix if you catch it early!
Some people get way too intense when in reality you just need to be active to be healthy. It's a lot harder to exercise at all if you blow out a knee or shoulder!
Yeah. Perhaps "as hard as you can safely handle," would have been better advice. No ego lifting past 30.
I'd add that if one is intellectually curious -- as I imagine somebody asking for advice here must be -- one's 40s are also a great time to take up a small noncommercial project. Like attempt to solve a minor theorem, or a historical puzzle.
(There are a lot of historical puzzles concerning nomenclature or the use of tools. For e.g., to this day nobody knows what was meant when the medieval French wrote of the form of armor called "double maille." (haubert doublier, haubert a maille double, and haubert clavey de double maille) But it's well attested in historical sources. If you travel to enough museums, manuscript collections, and chapels -- to inspect knightly effigies -- there's a very good chance you'll be able to figure it out. And, if you don't, I'd bet you still enjoy the ride.)
Malla in Spanish is a wire mesh, like the one you see when people dive with sharks. Maybe it is a double layer of wire mesh? Did I solve it? :)
By A_D_E_P_T 2025-06-268:31 Uh, yeah, so keeping in mind that "haubert doublier" was supposed to be more protective than the baseline stuff, it's either chainmail (1) with heavier and larger rings, (2) with two rivets per link, (3) with two layers, e.g. one hauberk worn on top of another, possibly with a linen interlayer (4) with smaller and many thousands more rings, (5) with double the links in each pattern unit – effectively, two rings where normally there would be one.
There's some scholarly support for each interpretation. The Romans were known to wear a double layer of mail, as their shoulder yoke overlapped their torso armor, though this predates the French and English by ~1000 years. There's also a good example of #2 here, though it's quite recent and not European: https://www.metmuseum.org/art/collection/search/35633
The most popular interpretation, among scholars, is #5. But there's no conclusive evidence. IIRC there was an effigy of a knight at the cathedral in York wearing double mail, but it was removed (and now thought lost) in the early 19th century.
This is the sort of ubiquitous historical question that can be solved by an amateur.
By onecommentman 2025-06-265:05 In your 40s there is zero excuse not employing a personal trainer, especially if you are just starting out, or significantly changing your fitness goals. They know more than you, they can observe what it is impossible for you to observe, they know proper technique, they know what the right intensity level will lead to improvement without burnout or injury. Bodies take way longer to heal in your 40s, and they are there to ensure you don’t hurt yourself.
If you’re a straight guy in your 40s, get a female daughter-age personal trainer who just radiates health and positivity and is in her own stable relationship…takes the ol’ male ego right out of the equation.
By HenryBemis 2025-06-2514:111 reply Yes! No! (as some others commented - not too hard).
You can build an amazing body (not hitting on you dude!) with Yoga. Which starts easy, then can turn hard, and 4-5 years later you got a body of iron, flexibility to reach the highest shelves, and stamina to run for hours.
Anyway, depending what you like/enjoy doing, build some muscle, build some stamina, drink less (alcohol). Be healthy(-ier)
By swah 2025-06-2613:53 Why not lifting, with machines and reasonably?
By TheAlchemist 2025-06-2511:16 40s here - I see it a bit differently. I definitely get what you're feeling, and it's not easily fixed, but I feel very differently about the 50% of life gone.
I feel like I've had ~20 years of 'conscious adult' life, and I have at least 40 left (hopefully) - so only ~33% is gone !
Anyway, "Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away"
By ggm 2025-06-258:47 This is common, stage of life stuff. From 64, let me say that it gets better, and that seeking professional advice about your state of mind is a solid investment. I did and never regretted it.
If I had a time machine which only went back to my 40s I'd possibly only say invest more for the future and exercise a shitload more. Most of the really embarrassing faux pas happened before this time.
I would also say deciding not to tear up my personal and work relationships like so many around me and instead invest in fixing what's wrong in them paid off.
