I've been through a few cycles of using LLMs and my current usage does scratch the itch. It doesn't feel like I've lost anything. The trick is I'm still programming. I name classes and functions. I define the directory structure. I define the algorithms. By the time I'm prompting an LLM I'm describing how the code will look and it becomes a supercharged autocomplete.

When I go overboard and just tell it "now I want a form that does X", it ends up frustrating, low-quality, and takes as long to fix as if I'd just done it myself.

YMMV, but from what I've seen all the "ai made my whole app" hype isn't trustworthy and is written by people who don't actually know what problems have been introduced until it's too late. Traditional coding practices still reign supreme. We just have a free pair of extra eyes.

I've found small features helps. If I ask the ai "do this", I wait 10 minutes for it to be finished, then another 30 understanding what was written

Instead, I start out broad. "I'm thinking of this feature. Let's talk about what components will go into it and where that code will live... Here are my initial thoughts. Let me know if I get anything wrong..."

This puts it in a conversation mode and gets you on the same page, and best of all it's quick. The llm agent isn't searching files and building, it's just giving general opinions

Once I have a good idea of the architecture, I move on to "write this class. Here is an overview of how I would do it", or point the agent to an existing file with the right conventions in place. Once again, if you've done your conversation doesn't take long. 20-second turnaround.

Then it's time to refine. "Move this function here, refactor that"

If you're going to have to understand the code anyway, read it while your writing it. Line by line, function by function, class by class. "Growing" a feature this way keeps you and the llm in sync. It doesn't go off on tangents. And building incrementally keeps you in the loop and in your flow. You don't have 5 things going at once. You have 1, faster.

I've let agents do their thing for a dozen minutes and usually end up having to rewind the whole thing piece by piece to understand what's actually happening

If you're truly vibe coding, maybe you don't have to read the code and can have a dozen agents on a dozen projects. But if you're making Serious Software, I don't see how you can commit code unseen. And in that case, you're not losing anything working incrementally and reading code as it's written?