tomcam

2026-03-08 9:19

Commented: "Ask HN: How to be alone?"

First off, it's just hard. Sorry you have to go through it.

What's worked unfailingly for me for the 40+ years since I became an adult was always having long term habits that moved my life forward. I had no guidance on the big stuff, so from about age 12 I methodically taught myself about programming, sculpting a career, investment, running a business, running a household, being funny, being a man, etc. All years-long efforts. (If I had to do it all again I'd replace one of those with a martial art.)

So I had something to work on instead of lapsing into depression during very dark times. If you met me the last thing you would imagine is that chicks dig me, but they do. I'm not good looking by any standards. But building these skills created a person that people know can get things done at a pretty high level. People like a confident dude, and that will probably serve you much better than spending an ungodly amount of time on Hinge.

2026-03-07 8:38