Homeschooling hits record numbers

2025-11-210:31275748reason.com

Last academic year, homeschooling grew at nearly three times the average rate it did during the COVID-19 pandemic, according to new research.

Whether called homeschooling or DIY education, family-directed learning has been growing in popularity for years in the U.S. alongside disappointment in the rigidity, politicization, and flat-out poor results of traditional public schools. That growth was supercharged during the COVID-19 pandemic when extended closures and bumbled remote learning drove many families to experiment with teaching their own kids. The big question was whether the end of public health controls would also curtail interest in homeschooling. We know now that it didn't. Americans' taste for DIY education is on the rise.

Homeschooling Grows at Triple the Pre-Pandemic Rate

"In the 2024-2025 school year, homeschooling continued to grow across the United States, increasing at an average rate of 5.4%," Angela Watson of the Johns Hopkins University School of Education's Homeschool Hub wrote earlier this month. "This is nearly three times the pre-pandemic homeschooling growth rate of around 2%." She added that more than a third of the states from which data is available report their highest homeschooling numbers ever, even exceeding the peaks reached when many public and private schools were closed during the pandemic.

After COVID-19 public health measures were suspended, there was a brief drop in homeschooling as parents and families returned to old habits. That didn't last long. Homeschooling began surging again in the 2023-2024 school year, with that growth continuing last year. Based on numbers from 22 states (not all states have released data, and many don't track homeschoolers), four report declines in the ranks of homeschooled children—Delaware, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, and Tennessee—while the others report growth from around 1 percent (Florida and Louisiana) to as high as 21.5 percent (South Carolina).

The latest figures likely underestimate growth in homeschooling since not all DIY families abide by registration requirements where they exist, and because families who use the portable funding available through increasingly popular Education Savings Accounts to pay for homeschooling costs are not counted as homeschoolers in several states, Florida included. As a result, adds Watson, "we consider these counts as the minimum number of homeschooled students in each state."

Recent estimates put the total homeschooling population at about 6 percent of students across the United States, compared to about 3 percent pre-pandemic. Continued growth necessarily means the share of DIY-educated students is increasing. That's quite a change for an education approach that was decidedly not mainstream just a generation ago.

"This isn't a pandemic hangover; it's a fundamental shift in how American families are thinking about education," comments Watson.

Students Flee Traditional Public Schools for Alternatives

Homeschooling is a major beneficiary of changing education preferences among American families, but it's not the only one.

"Five years after the pandemic's onset, there has been a substantial shift away from public schools and toward non-public options," Boston University's Joshua Goodman and Abigail Francis wrote last summer for Education Next. Looking at Massachusetts—not the friendliest regulatory environment for alternatives to traditional public schooling—they found that as the state's school-age population shrank by 2.6 percent since 2019, there has been a 4.2 percent decline in local public-school enrollment, a 0.7 decline in private-school enrollment, and a 56 percent increase in homeschooling. "Charter school enrollment is flat, due in part to regulatory limitations in Massachusetts," they added.

In research published in August, Dylan Council, Sofoklis Goulas, and Faidra Monachou of the Brookings Institution found similar results at the national level. "The COVID-19 pandemic forced millions of families to rethink where and how their children learn, and the effects continue to reshape American K-12 education," they observed. If "parents keep choosing alternatives at the pace observed since 2020, traditional public schools could lose as many as 8.5 million students, shrinking from 43.06 million in 2023-24 to as few as 34.57 million by mid-century."

It's not difficult to figure out what pushes parents to seek out alternatives and to flock to the various forms of DIY education grouped under the homeschooling heading.

Disappointment in Public Schools Drives the Shift

"The fraction of parents saying K-12 education is heading in the wrong direction was fairly stable from 2019 to 2022 but rose in 2023 and then again in 2024 to its highest level in a decade, suggesting continuing or even growing frustration with schools," commented Goodman and Francis.

Specifically, EdChoice's Schooling in America survey puts the percentage of school parents saying that K-12 education is headed in the right direction at 41 percent—down from 48 percent in 2022 (the highest score recorded). Fifty-nine percent say K-12 education is on the wrong track—up from 52 percent in 2021 (the lowest score recorded).

When asked if they are satisfied with their children's education, public school parents consistently rank last after parents who choose private schools, homeschooling, and charter schools. Importantly, among all parents of school-age children, homeschooling enjoys a 70 percent favorability rating.

The reasons for the move away from public schools certainly vary from family to family, but there have been notable developments in recent years. During the pandemic, many parents discovered that their preferences regarding school closures and health policies were anything but a priority for educators.

Closures also gave parents a chance to experience public schools' competence with remote learning, and many were unimpressed. They have also been unhappy with the poor quality and often politicized lessons taught to their children that infuriatingly blend declining learning outcomes with indoctrination. That doesn't mean parents all want the same things, but the one-size-fits-some nature of public schooling make curriculum battles inevitable—and push many towards the exits in favor of alternatives including, especially, homeschooling. The shift appears to be here to stay.

"What's particularly striking is the resilience of this trend," concludes Watson of Johns Hopkins University's Homeschool Hub. "States that saw declines have bounced back with double-digit growth, and we're seeing record enrollment numbers across the country."

Once an alternative way to educate children, homeschooling is now an increasingly popular and mainstream option.


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Comments

  • By kylehotchkiss 2025-11-2119:2630 reply

    I can't say my public school experience was great, I was bullied and didn't really click with the popular kids, but being around a cross section of actual American kids in my age group (my school district mixed middle class with lower class neighborhoods) helped me shape my worldview and learn to deal with people who didn't look or talk like me. I frequently saw fights, so I learned that you just stay away and watch your mouth around specific people. I learned that the BS American value of "popularity" doesn't translate into successful futures.

    I worry this move to homeschooling and micromanaging children's social lives just creates bubbles and makes children incapable of interacting with those outside of them.

    • By ecshafer 2025-11-2120:1417 reply

      My kids are not school age yet, and I am not sure on if I will home school or not. But I do think its possible to get good socialization exposure while homeschooling. There is the neighborhood kids, you have sports and clubs kids can join, religious groups.

      Plus not all homeschooling is just a student staying at home all day. Some people "homeschooling" I know are groups of parents getting together to educate their children together in small groups of ~5 kids to share the responsibility, and hiring a tutor to fill in the gaps. Monday they go John's house, his mom has a philosophy degree and teaches them. tuesday they go to Janes house, her dad is a Mathematician and teaches them. etc.

      • By sejje 2025-11-2120:553 reply

        I used to work at a YMCA, and the local homeschool group asked us to do a PE class, which I taught.

        I had the kids doing swimming, rock climbing, and all kinds of traditional PE games.

        I worked with "normal" kids most of the time, and I will say the homeschool kids stuck out. They're more awkward around kids their age, but far less awkward around adults. They know how to speak and act, in large part. And they were disproportionately ahead of their peers academically--though I think that's probably a selection bias for the parents seeking out homeschool PE classes.

        This was in the early 2000s, before Facebook. I'm sure the avenues to connect have only grown with social media.

      • By TaupeRanger 2025-11-2121:334 reply

        15+ years ago, that might have been the case. Now, you might find some friends in the 3-8 year old range, but then the kids just...don't do things anymore. In both suburban neighborhoods I've lived in the past 10 years, there are basically zero middle school or high school kids doing anything except playing video games and messing around on their phones from the comfort of home. School is quite literally the only social interaction most of these kids get aside from their parents, and if they didn't go to school, they'd just spend more time playing video games or on their phones.

        Outside of the coasts or university towns, there aren't any "mathematicians" with kids just waiting around to form homeschooling groups with you.

      • By prng2021 2025-11-221:335 reply

        Everytime I see these kinds of arguments, it sounds like someone desperately trying to argue that a park playground is almost as entertaining for kids as an amusement park. Your example of 5 kids socializing with each other is definitely better than 1 kid at home. It’s also definitely worse than learning to socialize in a school of 500 kids each day. This is undeniable unless you have an argument of how a pool of 500 kids would somehow have less diversity of personality, thought, languages, physical features, intelligence, etc.

      • By skeeter2020 2025-11-2120:451 reply

        It's going to depend greatly on your geo location and socioeconomic circumstances, but a homeschooled kid who interacts a lot in the neighbourhood (big "if", IME; those kids all have a lot of school friends) is still going to miss out on broader social, cultural, racial and financial exposure. Example: my white, middle-class kids have a lot of people exactly like them in community groups and sports clubs, but lots of eastern european & asian immigrants in their school classes. This is super-important in elementary school when they're far less aware and insular about interacting with people who are "different" IMO

      • By wildzzz 2025-11-2121:203 reply

        You don't need a degree in math to teach children age-appropriate math topics. Teachers don't become teachers just because they have a degree in that subject, they have been taught the methods on how to teach. Having prior knowledge of the subject is almost irrelevant. Teaching is really just applying solid methods on how to build knowledge from the most basic concepts as well as having the patience in dealing with humans who are not fully formed in their emotions.

      • By MarkMarine 2025-11-2122:341 reply

        There is no such thing as “the neighborhood kids” anymore. Having any kind of social circle for your children is going to require your facilitation and effort… a lot of it. It’ll be extra hard without the common bond of shared activity.

        Not knocking what sounds like your choice to homeschool, just sharing something that has changed from my youth.

      • By andyjohnson0 2025-11-2120:552 reply

        Having a degree in philosophy or mathematics or whatever does not automatically make someone a good teacher. Teaching - particularly with young children - is a skill that is almost orthogonal to subject knowledge.

      • By MarsIronPI 2025-11-2213:33

        > But I do think its possible to get good socialization exposure while homeschooling.

        Absolutely. I was homeschooled and in my state (Illinois) the laws work out such that homeschool students can enroll in public school classes if the school has space for them. That's how I socialized. So I got at least a modicrum of socialization (especially once I started band) but wasn't dragged down by the mediocre education at our local public schools.

      • By singpolyma3 2025-11-222:51

        > Plus not all homeschooling is just a student staying at home all day.

        I would argue if your kid stays home all day you're not better than a school so why would you bother? I know zero homeschoolers keeping their kids locked up at home

      • By drivebyhooting 2025-11-2121:53

        John Jane Mary set up is incredibly idealized. In a big city I have not been able to find anyone willing to commit to anything except one off play dates in a museum which has nothing to do with actual education.

      • By gbin 2025-11-229:16

        Yeah but this is basically people with the same social circle and religion etc...

      • By moron4hire 2025-11-227:23

        > But I do think its possible to get good socialization exposure while homeschooling.

        In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

        As person who was homeschooled in a large homeschooling community, no, I now believe at a fundamental level that not only is it not possible to adequately difference homeschooled children, it very much defeats the updated-but- always it is not possible to "get good socialization". There are two issues: the gross tonnage of exposure to other people is just not possible in homeschooling, and, there's a fundamental difference between the kinds of socialization.

        I believe there is value in being forced into socializing with people you may not like. I did not experience what one might call "involuntary socialization" until my first job out of college. It took me a very long time to learn how to exist comfortably in a world where not everyone would agree with me, like me, see me as an equal, or treat me with respect.

        In institutional education environments and in jobs, you don't get a choice who you have around you. You have to learn how to deal with that. Taking the kids to karate class doesn't teach them that because most everyone at karate class wants to be there.

        Any voluntary socialization arrangement is--by definition--a self-selection into a group with at least one point of commonality: you are so there for the thing, the activity.

        Involuntary socialization arrangements expose you to others where your overlapping demographic is nothing more than just geographic circumstance. Many people don't learn how to deal with that in public schools: it's where antisocial behavior comes from. But *every" homeschooled kid will miss that lesson completely.

    • By noboostforyou 2025-11-2119:532 reply

      As the parent of a small child, there is a very noticeable difference in social skills that develop immediately as a result of my child being in a daycare interacting with other children of a similar age. Compared to my friends' same age children who are mostly staying at home and babysat by a grandparent.

      (as a disclaimer, the daycare has very good teachers/caregivers from what I can tell so I'm sure that's part of it as well)

      • By mtrovo 2025-11-2120:171 reply

        Daycare quality is a spectrum, the same way as babysitting at home. My smaller one just started daycare, and we settled for one that actually does stuff with the kids (forest school style). But I can tell you, we've visited lots of places that are basically just making sure the kids are not dead by the time you pick them up. Same for babysitting with grandparents; there's the hyper-social grandpa style that's always doing something, and the couchpotato with +10k hours on Cocomelon.

      • By mordnis 2025-11-2121:072 reply

        In my opinion, grandparents are the worst. They completely spoil them.

    • By OneLeggedCat 2025-11-2121:105 reply

      In the rural areas that I've lived in, it's mostly about a strong desire to supplant science and history with religious ideas and principles.

      • By alphazard 2025-11-2121:382 reply

        I hear this a lot, and it may be true, but I am very skeptical that it matters. The statistics about home-schooled children don't support the idea that they have horribly inaccurate models of the world guided mostly by religious thinking. Or if they do it doesn't seem to affect life achievement in any important way. Instead home-schooled children are typically more advanced at graduation and have higher lifetime achievement metrics than their public school counterparts.

        As an athiest, and a bayesian, it's difficult for me to worry about other peoples religious beliefs that don't seem to negatively affect them or me. Especially when there is propaganda taught in the public schools that does warp the students' world views in ways that harms them and me.

      • By TheGRS 2025-11-2121:402 reply

        That has been the case for a long time, and I guess something about the current generation of parents has gotten them to act more on it. My dad came from a very religious family and they all did private religious schools for their early grade school years. Then they went to public for high school years.

        If I had to guess, its maybe something about the demise of church life that has gotten religious parents to just pull back entirely. It wasn't that uncommon for public schools to make nods toward Christian ideals/lifestyles before like the 90s, but now that stuff just doesn't happen anymore.

      • By _blk 2025-11-220:322 reply

        I won't pretend to know where you live or what those people's desires are but I definitely started homeschooling after the last US administration took moral volatility to new standards. The principles taught in schools just did not align anymore with what was common sense when I was in school and what I believe in. Now before you judge, I'm not looking for a fight. My wife and I have both master-degree educations in CS and law and our four kids have been to public school in the US and abroad, they've been to an evangelical christian school, and now that we've decided to homeschool for two years, we're not likely to take them back. The traditional school aspects take up 2-3h per day at most, then comes the school of life: raising and caring for animals and plants, fixing the truck or other engineersy activities and of course plenty of fun activities outside of the too-busy-to-be-fun times. My kids have learned of historic events such as Jamestown, Gettysburg or Mount St. Helens at the actual site of the event, they've been to most of the national parks and the fear of being socially-disconnected is not more than a fear before you start. Heck, thanks to Starlink they can even talk to their friends while we're driving through a desert.

        Now let me also say that preparing the curriculum, ordering the materials etc. takes a lot of effort and discipline. It's definitely almost a full time job and I'm blessed with an amazing wife that's gifted in all that but the reward is more than worth it. Also, if you're thinking about it, many states have home school support programs and put you in touch with other home schoolers in the area.

      • By satvikpendem 2025-11-2121:112 reply

        That is exactly what I've seen, to keep kids in their brainwashing bubble.

      • By ohsoSad 2025-11-2121:58

        [dead]

    • By calmbell 2025-11-2123:022 reply

      The public school experience in the U.S. depends so much on your ZIP Code. I attended the best public schools in my state while my wife attended the worst in the same state. I am genuinely pro-public school, but there is a point where the benefit of being around different people is overshadowed by distractions and low standards. My wife had to be diagnosed with a learning disability in college to receive test accommodations when she discovered that you cannot stay after class indefinitely to finish an exam. Her teachers never raised any concerns about her taking 50% as long with exams compared to the other students, and she was the valedictorian of her huge urban high school. The lack of concern is bizarre until you consider that her teachers were preoccupied with students graduating and showing up to class. Many of her classmates ended up getting pregnant, and the school had a large daycare for the children of high school students.

      My wife didn't end up taking the SAT or ACT because she attended a relatively strong local university with a full-ride scholarship and a test-optional policy. The MCAT exam initially denied her request for accommodations because she was only diagnosed with a learning disability in college. We successfully appealed by writing an essay arguing that my wife wasn't diagnosed with a learning disability in K-12 because her schools sucked (we submitted documentation that proved that her schools tested among the worst in the state, her elementary school was literally the worst in the entire state, when she was a student), and her teachers had much bigger concerns than why the smart, studious kid takes a long time to complete exams.

      If the wife had gone to the K-12 school system that I attended, her learning disability would have been addressed in elementary school, and she would have been spared much angst. I was a very poor reader in early elementary school, and received almost daily one-on-one attention at my school from instructional aides and volunteers (mostly highly educated parents and grandparents) for years. I received a perfect score on the ACT reading section in high school.

      • By WalterBright 2025-11-223:361 reply

        > her teachers were preoccupied with students graduating and showing up to class

        That's because the attendance rate is the driver of state funds to the schools.

        The schools also get more funding if the students perform poorly.

      • By linkregister 2025-11-221:47

        The set of ZIP codes to geographical school assignment is neither 1:1 nor onto. Actually,

        (just kidding)

        I agree that school assignment is highly variable. I'm glad your wife managed to get her appeal approved. It's unfortunate she even had to go through that process to begin with.

    • By jfreds 2025-11-2121:414 reply

      I was homeschooled until high school. I couldn’t agree with you more. The value that the socialization the public school offers is underestimated.

      Learning activities with other homeschooled kids is ok but not enough. A tight-knit neighborhood of friends is huge, but not enough. You need to develop a thick skin and a sense of self-assurance.

      I have no counterfactual of course, but I think much of the social anxiety I’ve had to unlearn as a young adult came from homeschooling. And I had great circumstances

      • By pyuser583 2025-11-2121:58

        I was horribly bullied in high school. It was really bad.

        The worst part was being ostracized. The school had anti-bullying policies, but they don’t force anyone to be your friend.

        Strangely, I was elected to lots of student government office, and held leadership in lots of clubs.

        Maybe my memory is just off, but I don’t think so.

        I think I was really good connecting with the grownups who ran the school, so they made sure I got leadership positions.

        I was always much better at being the kid in class the teacher liked - same with principals, etc.

        Probably one of the reasons the other kids didn’t like me - but that went over my head.

        I think it’s really easy to overestimate how important the socialization in public schools is. We go to so many movies where the plot is based on the dynamics of public high school, we assume it’s normal.

        We see so much of terrible stuff downplaid like it doesn’t matter. Just rewatched Back to the Future which laughingly brushes off every kind of violence as long as it’s done at the prom.

      • By DennisP 2025-11-2122:43

        And I've always felt that most of my social anxiety came from public school. Maybe we were both just prone to it.

        (I unlearned it too, but it took quite a while.)

      • By cosmic_cheese 2025-11-2122:371 reply

        As someone else who was homeschooled except the last three grades, I also agree. Additionally, the effect is multiplied if the kid in question lives in a rural or semi-rural area rather than a suburb or city.

        For the majority of my adult life I’ve been playing catchup. Even now, barreling towards 40, there’s aspects of social capabilities where I come up quite short relative to my peers.

        If I’m ever to be a parent, I won’t homeschool. Depending the circumstances I might not send my kids to public school, but their schooling situation will at minimum involve social exposure comparable to that of public school.

      • By aleph_minus_one 2025-11-2122:583 reply

        > The value that the socialization the public school offers is underestimated.

        The basically only social skill that school teaches is hating other people (other students, teachers) so much that from the deepest of your heart you wish them to be dead.

        Clearly a valuable skill, but not the kind that most parents would desire their children to get.

    • By alphazard 2025-11-2121:241 reply

      > I worry this move to homeschooling and micromanaging children's social lives just creates bubbles and makes children incapable of interacting with those outside of them.

      The older I get, the more I think that helping your kids avoid interactions with others who aren't with the program is for the best. Ideally your children's friends should be people that you think are good kids, kids that you would go to bat for. Then when you are teaching your kids to compromise and play nice and forgive, you can legitimately feel good about it. I think my default assumption about a negative interaction with a public school random would be that they are basically a wild animal to be avoided.

      • By brailsafe 2025-11-2123:21

        The world is messy for all sorts of reasons, that may not be the way anyone would like it to be but it's the way it is, and imo it's best to learn it when the stakes are low rather than when they're later voting against other classes because they were never exposed to people from them early on, or they're being taken advantage of at work or in an adult relationship.

        I wouldn't fault someone for wanting to situate their kids among peers and adults that help them grow at a similar level rather than hinder it, but I think it's also best to be a guiding hand rather than a applicant tracking system when it comes to the non-academic side

    • By usefulcat 2025-11-2120:453 reply

      There are certainly tradeoffs, but it's not all negative. In my experience, what it boils down to is that home-schooled kids tend to have more experience with adults and less experience dealing with a wide variety of other kids, particularly assholes.

      When I was a kid in public school, there was no shortage of assholes and I definitely would have preferred to not have to deal with them. OTOH, I don't doubt that there is also some value in that experience, not to mention interacting with all the other people. Also, we didn't have social media or semi-regular school shootings when I was a kid. So yeah.. to me, it's not at all obvious which set of tradeoffs is preferable nowadays.

      • By ghssds 2025-11-2120:536 reply

        What happens to asshole kids? Do they become regular adults or asshole adults? Do they become soldiers or prisonners never to be seen again by normies? Do they even reach adulthood? Are they even a stable group or were we all asshole kids to some other kids?

      • By BobaFloutist 2025-11-2120:481 reply

        You're forgetting that public school also exposes you to more adult assholes, including ones with direct power over you that can screw you over for no reason.

        It's important to know how and when to advocate for yourself and others, when to escalate through proper channels and when to escalate outside of proper channels, and when to back down and let them be an asshole because they're frankly not worth your time.

      • By gbacon 2025-11-220:221 reply

        All over this discussion, the big negative has nothing to do with missing out on stellar education, skill development, or expert teachers. Instead, it’s the perpetual handwringing that homeschooled kids won’t be Properly Socialized, i.e., be exposed to and have to endure mistreatment, disruption, and sometimes assault from other maladjusted, cruel, or even mentally ill peers — because that’s “the real world.”

        This is not the W for the government schools that proponents seem to think it is.

    • By jhawk28 2025-11-223:353 reply

      This is the most common myths about homeschooling. In reality, the kids at public school sit at a desk most of the time. They don't get to socialize. Most activities are structured. Homeschoolers have CO-OPs, field trips, weekly PE visits, real interactions with adults, and actual free time. They are the most socialized kids in the US. The diversity in the homeschool relationships is quite large which you can see when a homeschooler has discussions with adults while their public school peers just quietly talk amongst themselves.

      • By rozap 2025-11-2217:43

        Growing up, homeschool kids were absolutely weird as hell. Sure, some turn out fine, but it's very hard to do right, and requires parents putting their kids outside of everyone's comfort zone, which is... uncomfortable, so it rarely happens.

        The homeschooled neighbor kid from a super religious family absolutely went off the deep end at 18. Many such cases.

      • By ethbr1 2025-11-223:502 reply

        You're straw-manning the worst public school experience against the best possible homeschool experience.

        > They are the most socialized kids in the US.

        Bullshit. You know how I know? Because on average parents are terrible at exposing their kids to Things Not Like Them and Things They Don't Approve Of.

        There are great homeschooling parents and crazy ones, but maybe it's not the worst idea to give kids a few hours a day outside their family-approved bubble?

        Just in case it's the latter.

        Or am I mistaken and all homeschooling in the US requires the child's consent?

      • By dartharva 2025-11-226:55

        This ability to so confidently assert things from your own dreamland with no regard to the real world is amazing. Were you also homeschooled?

    • By DennisP 2025-11-2122:412 reply

      Paul Graham pointed out that public school is a weird and degenerate microcosm that isn't much like the real social world at all.

      > I think the important thing about the real world is not that it's populated by adults, but that it's very large, and the things you do have real effects. That's what school, prison, and ladies-who-lunch all lack. The inhabitants of all those worlds are trapped in little bubbles where nothing they do can have more than a local effect. Naturally these societies degenerate into savagery. They have no function for their form to follow.

      > When the things you do have real effects, it's no longer enough just to be pleasing. It starts to be important to get the right answers, and that's where nerds show to advantage.

      > ...If I could go back and give my thirteen year old self some advice, the main thing I'd tell him would be to stick his head up and look around. I didn't really grasp it at the time, but the whole world we lived in was as fake as a Twinkie...Life in this twisted world is stressful for the kids. And not just for the nerds. Like any war, it's damaging even to the winners.

      https://paulgraham.com/nerds.html?viewfullsite=1

      • By gbacon 2025-11-2123:582 reply

        Perhaps unlike in some ways, but some aspects of school life persist in so-called adult life, e.g., jocks, nerds, freaks, party animals, slackers, and teacher’s pets are all still around — now with zeros on the end.

      • By tayo42 2025-11-226:501 reply

        Probably like 90% of the time it feel like I'm perpetually in high school and it never really ended.

    • By gregjor 2025-11-222:16

      > I worry this move to homeschooling and micromanaging children's social lives just creates bubbles and makes children incapable of interacting with those outside of them.

      We already have this problem with the population at large, only a tiny minority of whom got homeschooled.

      Right here on HN you can read daily accounts of severe introversion and social anxiety. You can see that out in public, at work, among friends and family. Many Americans, children and adults, take medications (licit and otherwise) to cope with anxiety and things like ADHD. Many Americans self-diagnose as "on the spectrum" and "introverted."

      Do you have any evidence to support the idea that homeschooled children suffer more from these common afflictions?

    • By themafia 2025-11-222:03

      > I frequently saw fights, so I learned

      So this part of your education was entirely self-guided? And you're worried if children don't see fights and just sort of 'figure out' how to deal with them on their own they won't develop properly?

      > I was bullied [...] learned that the BS American value of "popularity" doesn't translate into successful futures.

      So the institution valued popularity to the point of allowing you to be abused because you didn't possess it. Another self-guided lesson.

      I can never understand why people defend schools. They're terrible environments for learning. We clearly need a school setting for book learning and an _entirely separate_ one for social learning. This seems easily surmountable.

    • By tshaddox 2025-11-2123:12

      This is a common sentiment, but how much do you really know about the counterfactual?

      It's not obvious to me that you would have been unable to deal with people who didn't look like you if you had been homeschooled.

      It also seems to me that a lot of public school environments surely contain kids who look different from each other, form cliques based on physical appearance, and learn to base how they treat people largely on physical appearance.

    • By rmbyrro 2025-11-2212:18

      Empirical research [1] [2] shows that your worry is unfounded.

      [1] Homeschooled Children’s Social Skills: https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED573486.pdf

      [2] Homeschooling and the Question of Socialization Revisited: https://www.stetson.edu/artsci/psychology/media/medlin-socia...

      Edit: if I had to bet (don't know any research), schools nowadays are the main producers of intolerance, with the indoctrination and teaching kids to only respect civil discourse, ideas and opinions if they agree with the mainstream world model.

    • By eucyclos 2025-11-222:17

      Speaking of bullying, high school caused me to greatly overestimate how important unarmed combat would be to my future success in life.

      It's nice to not worry about it on the rare occasion that I go to sketchy places, but it also highlights that dealing with a cross section of our country's population is not necessarily relevant to the kind of life we build when we can choose our peers.

    • By phyzix5761 2025-11-222:11

      > I worry this move to homeschooling and micromanaging children's social lives just creates bubbles and makes children incapable of interacting with those outside of them.

      Most research does not support the idea that homeschooling inherently creates social bubbles or makes children unable to interact with others. Studies generally find that homeschooled children perform as well as or better than traditionally schooled peers on standardized social skills measures and often participate actively in community groups, sports, etc. Long term studies of adults who were homeschooled also show no meaningful deficits in life outcomes or social functioning. The main caveat is that homeschooling varies widely: children in highly isolated or restrictive environments may have fewer opportunities to practice mainstream social norms, but this is a function of the specific homeschooling approach, not homeschooling as a whole. Overall, the literature suggests that social problems arise from lack of social exposure not from homeschooling itself.

    • By pfannkuchen 2025-11-220:56

      I had a similar experience growing up to what you describe, but in my adult life I ended up living around all upper middle class and wealthy people and I don’t think my earlier experiences have really been very relevant or helpful. So I think it might depend on what the child’s expected adult environment will be like? Like do we need to be around or interact with the sort of people you need to stay away from or watch your mouth around?

    • By ahmeneeroe-v2 2025-11-2119:55

      >cross section of actual American kids

      So many factors have led this to be a major liability for young people now. School is not what it was 20 years ago.

    • By everdrive 2025-11-2210:46

      >I learned that the BS American value of "popularity" doesn't translate into successful futures.

      It's always felt like a quirk of biology, in the same way that most people are now too fat. (ie, we didn't evolve in an era with constant excess calories and for the most part we can't cope with the situation) In that same way, people engage in this vicious fight for status between middle school and high school, only to be whisked away to colleges and then whisked away to wherever the jobs are; the fight for status never mattered and you can reinvent yourself in ways which would have never been possible in our ancient kin groups. But, we just cannot stop fighting for that status, and don't even give it much though. It's a huge waste of energy.

    • By Redster 2025-11-2119:511 reply

      The positives you experienced are very possible for a homeschooled student as well, and this seems to be a common boogieman. Other factors seem to play a much larger factor in the things you are (rightfully!) concerned about. As long as the parents have "the will to have nice things" (to refer to Patrick McKenzie's concept), then these are very surmountable problems.

      Respectfully, A grateful dad who was homeschooled and who will homeschool.

      P.S. Of course I will do some things differently than my parents, but it was an amazing gift and I had an extremely vibrant and stimulating time, including with peers (and adults!) outside of my parents' network who pushed me, challenged me, thought very differently than me, etc.

    • By gred 2025-11-2119:441 reply

      > I learned that the BS American value of "popularity" doesn't translate into successful futures.

      Popularity is not an exclusively American concept. Just as public school broadened your horizons, so will traveling (or living) abroad.

      • By zdragnar 2025-11-2120:151 reply

        Too many CO2 emissions for that to be practical for the billions of people who don't have public transit access to another nation.

    • By inetknght 2025-11-2121:47

      > I frequently saw fights, so I learned that you just stay away and watch your mouth around specific people.

      Unfortunately this encourages people to have a blind eye regarding bullying.

      I would be much more happy if more people intervened against bullies and liars. Maybe we'd have better people in politics today if 40 years ago schools punished bullies and liars and sent them to have their behavioral problems addressed.

    • By perrygeo 2025-11-2122:49

      Fully agree. The foundation of education is learning how the world actually is, not how we wish it would be.

    • By hn_throwaway_99 2025-11-221:10

      > I learned that the BS American value of "popularity" doesn't translate into successful futures.

      This is generally not true, as far as popularity correlates to having better social skills and a better understanding of social dynamics. Not saying income is the sole definition of success, but here is one study that found that teenagers with more friends earned more as adults: https://www.nber.org/papers/w27337

    • By typeofhuman 2025-11-221:05

      Popular misconception of homeschooling. At least in my experience. We homeschool our children. We do a couple of hours a day of curriculum. The rest is being a member of a few homeschool coops. Parents are close, yet it's big enough that there are still "groups". Kids are making friends and socializing in a much more fruitful way than the chambers of public school. There's play, then there's exploration. We go on nature walks and clean ups, the theater, the naval base, we have soccer, gymnastics, and jiu jitsu, we go to the museums, libraries, and recycling plant.

      Our kids have friends. We have made friends (tough at our age). And our kids are 1-2 years above their peers on diagnostics.

    • By youcancook 2025-11-2218:21

      [dead]

    • By j45 2025-11-2120:39

      There is some realy valid things to consider here.

      The thing it leaves me wondering is how many kids from elementary through high school a child really keeps in touch with, and if college is currently the place where many students finally get to start to be themselves.

    • By rayiner 2025-11-2123:43

      Except homeschooled people I know are lovely and well adjusted.

    • By jeffbee 2025-11-2119:591 reply

      [flagged]

    • By swannodette 2025-11-2119:511 reply

      If you can afford it! "Grass-roots segregation hits records numbers" would be an equally fitting title.

  • By hereme888 2025-11-2120:0915 reply

    The biggest misunderstanding I hear year-over-year is homeschoolers are "not exposed to the real world". Isolation exists for some, but my extensive interaction with homeschoolers is they are immersed in healthy communities, hand-picked by parents to keep away problem children. Who would plant a flower next to a sick or hostile one? Parents of healthy children should give 0 s*ts of societal/political pressure against this concept. Your kids are a bad influence for whatever reason? Not my problem to fix.

    Homeschoolers are some of the most resilient and well-behaved people I know.

    Modern academic life is only well suited to a small percent of the population. Those children who are truly happy and excelling in that setting.

    So much time and resources, to produce what exactly? A piece of paper and fancy picture to stare at? Forced mass education was a good idea for developing societies, but personalized education has been possible for at least a decade now, at a fraction of the cost. And to add insult to injury, there's an increasing torrent of deranged ideologies teachers and professors share with students.

    Here's a famous song on the topic for those who know how to "chew the meat from the cud": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xe6nLVXEC0&list=RD8xe6nLVXE...

    * It's fascinating to watch the points on my comment go up and down a ton. Very controversial issue. I believe it highlights pressure from social and political structures in society, and/or personal experiences. They vary so much.

    • By array_key_first 2025-11-2122:424 reply

      My general experience is that homeschool children have self esteem and confidence issues precisely because they've been around 'hand picked' people... forever.

      They've never experienced assholes, or people who think their personality is grating, or whatever. Thick skin needs to be built up, to a degree. I'm not saying bullying is good, but being exposed to the unwashed masses definitely can be.

    • By aeturnum 2025-11-2122:27

      > Your kids are a bad influence for whatever reason? Not my problem to fix.

      Not your problem to fix for sure - but it is your problem to equip your child to comfortably weather. There are bad influences out in the world and they generally have outsized effects on their social and professional scenes. In fact, the kind of curated, limited community you're advocating for is one where bad influences thrive.

      > So much time and resources, to produce what exactly? A piece of paper and fancy picture to stare at?

      I certainly agree the degree is whatever - but I think you're really under-valuing the social-gauntlet aspect of school. You will have classmates who kind of (or really) suck. You will need to do your work anyway. You will be incentivized to learn perseverance and a self-centered locus of control. These are valuable skills that only come from actual exposure to bad influences.

      Someone who's perfect in perfect conditions is going to struggle because the world is not perfect. The aims you highlight here make me think less of homeschooling than I did before.

    • By cosmic_cheese 2025-11-2122:551 reply

      The problem is that what constitutes “healthy” varies so greatly between individuals (especially these days) that it barely carries any objective meaning, and the odds are heavily against any one person’s definition being correct.

      If I put myself in the shoes of a parent, I wouldn’t trust myself on the matter enough that I’d feel good shaping my childrens’ entire world to match it. It’s such a wildly difficult thing to get right, and I’d rather they get a glimpse of the world through wide variety of viewpoints and hope they’ll use the values I’ve instilled in them to construct their own view.

    • By Nextgrid 2025-11-2123:592 reply

      > hand-picked by parents to keep away problem children

      Unless you can magically guarantee (or have enough money to fund their whole life) your children will never have to interact with "problem" people, they will need to learn to deal with those people one way or another. And it's better to do so in a low-stakes situation like school.

    • By bgnn 2025-11-2121:591 reply

      What you define here is isolation from the real world. There seems to be a misunderstanding of your understanding of misunderstanding.

    • By afavour 2025-11-2120:196 reply

      > homeschoolers are "not exposed to the real world". Isolation exists for some, but my extensive interaction with homeschoolers is they are immersed in healthy communities, hand-picked by parents to keep away problem children. Who would plant a flower next to a sick or hostile one?

      ...a healthy community hand-picked by parents is not "the real world" though, is it?

      I think your view is a very black and white one. Kids in public school are exposed to society at large, in both good and bad ways. My kids are in class with others of different cultures and lived experience and I believe that enriches their lives. Despite, yes, there being some problematic kids in there.

      The sad reality of parenting is that you're never going to be able to hand-pick your child's experience all the way through life. Sooner or later they're going to be exposed to the "hostile flowers" you describe. Personally I think learning to be around those people and still thrive is a part of childhood that prepares you well for adulthood. It may be more valuable than some of the academic work kids do.

    • By class3shock 2025-11-2212:141 reply

      If schools are problematic or have kids that are problematic, wouldn't it make more sense to focus on investing in them to make them better, adding resources to support difficult kids, to help parents who are not doing well? As opposed to disengaging from them?

    • By subpixel 2025-11-2123:29

      Where I live the schools are quite good and the homeschoolers are fundamental religious families who won’t send their kids to schools where gay pride flags are allowed.

      I’d pull our child out of school if the standards dropped but I think the majority of homeschoolers align with out of the mainstream poltical / religious views.

    • By meheleventyone 2025-11-2120:182 reply

      I mean you’re literally explaining how your home schooled kids are separated from the real world.

    • By joshstrange 2025-11-2120:591 reply

      > Homeschoolers are some of the most resilient and well-behaved people I know.

      I'm sure they exist, they may even exist as the majority, I will say for my part the homeschooled kids I knew through my church growing up were not any of these things. I would quite literally use the opposite of both those to describe them.

      I'm not saying they represent the majority but they do exist and they were not well adjusted IMHO.

      As with many topics I feel like "Yes, if you want to devote yourself fully to X thing you can do much better than Y professional", the problem is, again from my own experience, the people I knew who homeschooled their children were not professionals, they were not capable, and their children suffered for it. I want to stress, I fully believe it is possible for certain people with certain mentors/teachers to do better outside of the public (or private) school system. I just also believe that the odds of most people (making that decision for their children) to meet that bar are low. I also think that some of the better homeschooled experiences that I've seen are simply a super-private school by another name (various parents being or being subject experts and taking turns teaching coupled with many "field trip"-type trips with other homeschooled kids).

      > there's an increasing torrent of deranged ideologies teachers and professors share with students.

      Wait till you hear what the parents believe... I don't agree with everything taught or the way it's taught but being exposed to other types of people and ways of thinking is critical. I can guarantee you that had my parents been able to, they would have shielded me from a great number of ways of thinking. I worry that many homeschooled children grow up in a small echo chamber (we all live in echo chambers of difference sizes).

      Can public school suck? Absolutely and I acknowledge that homeschooling might be the answer for some people, but only if you can afford to pay (with time or money) to educate your children completely which is almost certainly going to require working with other homeschooler parents to, essentially, build your own school. If you can bring in tutors/mentors/teachers that you vet and agree with and expose them to the world and new ideas/experiences then yeah, you are probably going to have good outcomes. If you plop them in front of a computer to follow a curriculum just to shield them from the "evils" of the world, well, I think you are going to have a bad time. Obviously there is a whole range of people in between those 2 extremes, I just feel that, on average, people trend towards the lower end of that spectrum.

      > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xe6nLVXEC0&list=RD8xe6nLVXE...

      Interesting song and I do agree with many points. For many years I've complained about lack of teaching basic skills (everything from home ec to budgeting and more), many of which I heard in this song. I think there was a little of the baby going out with the bathwater but overall I enjoyed it.

    • By codingdave 2025-11-2122:461 reply

      > increasing torrent of deranged ideologies teachers and professors share with students.

      You really might want to explain that further. At face value, that sounds like parroted right-wing rhetoric.

    • By FireBeyond 2025-11-2121:001 reply

      I get that on one hand, such regulation is one of the reasons some parents do so, but the wide diversity of "oversight" is challenging.

      In Washington, homeschooled students still have to occasionally connect at an actual school, or do some baseline testing.

      In Louisiana, you just tell the state "we're homeschooling" and the state is "have fun with that" and the child is essentially off the grid.

      Not for nothing, instances of child abuse/CSA in many correlates with the laxness of educational oversight in home schooling.

      > And to add insult to injury, there's an increasing torrent of deranged ideologies teachers and professors share with students.

      Ahh, this chestnut. A short jump to "teachers are training preschoolers to be furries and LGBT" and litterboxes in the classroom/bathroom.

      For all your anecdotes my step daughter has plenty too. 10th graders who are barely literate, cannot do elementary math. Who when asked about their homeschool regime talk of waking at 10, 10.30, playing Fortnite or going on Tiktok for a few hours, and occasionally logging into some website to pretend like they've been working, or doing some mind numbingly simple exercise to show "participation".

    • By atoav 2025-11-226:331 reply

      > Who would plant a flower next to a sick or hostile one?

      A gardener who understands that after that short grace period that plant will have to grow amongst those sick and hostile ones essentially and not only that, it will have to form a thriving ecosystem with them.

      I get the idea of wanting to protect your child at all cost and wanting the best possible education for them. Rarely have I found that former students with over-protective parents that put them down a funnel of other kids from the same social and ideological background have really thrived. And I work in university level education meaning I get to see first hand what is usually the first phase in a persons life where they can decide for themselves how to do it. The people with self-confidence and stable roots who make the best, are usually those who "have seen it all", while those with alternative schooling backgrounds are either completely in their own world (often with rude awekenings) or constant feelings of inadequacy and comparison with others. That is anecdotal evidence by one educator, so details may matter.

      Aside from those individual aspects, there absolutely is a societal aspect to that. If gated communities are the solution, then your society has to be in what is already a pretty dystopian position. Having those isolated silos mean in a world of isolated social media silos, we give our kids even less possibility to experience the reality of other members of the society we expect them to repair.

      That shoulders them with an impossible task. My deep believe is that the goal of education is to prepare people for their life, but also to give them the tools to make the world they are sent into a better place. That requires a healthy dose of "knowing what is", especily if what is, is ugly.

    • By dzonga 2025-11-2120:231 reply

      there's was a famous paper written by a former school teacher which advocated for home schooling ? I been trying to find it ever since

  • By jmathai 2025-11-211:5613 reply

    I do think Covid forced people to ask questions they hadn’t before.

    We have sent our kids to private, poor quality and top rated schools.

    We saw a stark difference between the poor quality and higher cost options. No surprise.

    But the reason we are considering home schooling our younger kids was surprising. It says something about a system dedicated to teaching children when parents think they can do as well or better.

    That’s just education. The social situation in schools is ludicrous. Phones, social media, etc. what a terrible environment we adults have created for kids to learn both educationally and socially.

    Home schooling has answers for ALL of that.

    • By thewebguyd 2025-11-2120:15

      > Phones, social media, etc. what a terrible environment we adults have created for kids to learn both educationally and socially.

      And this is only just now being investigated as a cause of harm. When I went to public high school, the bullying happened at school and stayed there. Kids now, their bullies follow them home, and since most of the social interaction now happens online instead of in-person, it's way more damaging to mental health than the classic caricature of a schoolyard bully. The most I had to compare myself to were my peers in my school, not the entire globe of influencers and fake instagram.

      There has been a complete erosion of boundaries. The threat is constant, you can't escape it, and kids are in a state of hyper-vigilance, always online or else they miss a crucial social interaction in group chat, or need to constantly check if a damaging photo, post, or rumor gets publicly posted to the internet while they were asleep.

      Not only that, teens are losing the ability to read human emotion, so misunderstandings escalate rapidly. In person communication now becomes too intense, and only increases anxiety and isolation, despite being hyperconnected.

      And that's just barely touching the surface.

    • By rich_sasha 2025-11-215:294 reply

      I suppose there are few talented, hard working people who want to teach, and they command a premium. Education is expensive and underfunded.

      As a parent/carer you probably are much more motivated than an underpaid teacher who wanted to do something else anyway, and you don't have to motivate yourself with money.

      By extension, IME, motivated and talented teachers in any school (good or bad) can do wonders. There just aren't that many. And as you say, school environment tends to be a race to the bottom - if Johnny can watch Tiktok during maths, I'll do the same.

      • By rahimnathwani 2025-11-2118:564 reply

          Education is expensive and underfunded.
        
        Expensive yes. Underfunded depends on where you are.

        San Francisco's school district has an annual operating budget that equates to $28k per student.

        I've heard people in San Francisco say that schools here are underfunded. When I ask them how much we spend per student per year, their guess is usually less than half of the actual amount.

      • By joshstrange 2025-11-2121:051 reply

        > Education is expensive and underfunded.

        Always makes me think of The West Wing scene:

        > Education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don't need little changes, we need gigantic, monumental changes. Schools should be palaces. The competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be making six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge to its citizens, just like national defense. That's my position. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet.

        Video (sorry for the burned in subs, should be queued up): https://youtu.be/IzV09gESyh0?t=39

      • By nradov 2025-11-2119:09

        Education should be well funded but in many school districts the problem is waste and inefficiency rather than lack of funding. Huge amounts are paid to administrators and consultants who do nothing to improve student outcomes, or even make them worse. Generally there is little correlation between funding per student and results.

      • By mdip 2025-11-227:06

           > As a parent/carer you probably are much more motivated
        
        No question. No teacher cares more about my child's education than I do.

        Really, though, the biggest factor is just being their parent. When they're young, the vast majority of the time you can basically read their mind. When you're teaching your child, you almost instinctively know how well they're understanding things. I was never deliberate about it, I didn't look for things, I never had to. I was able to pace my delivery very tightly with their ability to consume and it was the most natural thing imaginable.

        That, and having a class size of two, meant Home Schooling was "30-45 minutes Monday-Friday September to mid-April with generous vacations." And that's not "30-45 minutes but we also went to a museum, the library, co-ops (we did, briefly), and all kinds of other learning activities" (I'm sure I lied and said I did those things), that was 30-45 minutes, do some chores (we don't live on a farm, it's the same stuff most kids do), and play video games.

        Parenting-wise, the only elements we were more strict with was we limited "watching a TV show or video content" to an hour (two, on occasion, for movies) a day ... and we were quite rigorous with that. But they could play pretty much any video game they wanted (within reason, but probably far less restrictive than most parents outside of Hacker News). And they didn't get mobile devices until 13 and 15. There was no reason. They had/have computers.

        My goal was simply "to teach them at home better than they could get at school and to make them self-learners along the way." I wasn't looking for genius spelling bee winners.

        They've been in Public School (since the start of HS for my son, 7th grade for my daughter) for four years. Those 30-45 minute sessions that -- not once -- involved taking a test resulted in them being straight-A students. The first test they took, a placement test, resulted in them landing in advanced classes.

        They finish their home work at school (my son works way ahead because he's bored). They study for nothing outside of midterms and finals (and they only do that out of paranoia, it's not really needed).

        The majority of the time they were Home Schooled, Mom and I were divorced (and it wasn't "amicable" for the majority of that, it was ... ugly). And while that was hard, actually home schooling the children was not. It was awesome. I'd have been a lot less stressed in the earlier years if I'd have known how easy it was.

        It was "get good curriculum, follow it, don't move on until they understand it to what a teacher would grade an 'A'". You do the latter because you have to; anything else is debt and the only one who pays that debt is the you. Your kids will just sob through it. Outside of budgeting because you're likely down to one income, the rest was all upside.

    • By 1970-01-01 2025-11-2118:4611 reply

      Is there an answer for athletics, music, robotics, and all the other after school teams? How does that work?

    • By jayd16 2025-11-2119:373 reply

      Covid showed me that on the average home schooling (or at least remote learning) leaves kids extremely under developed.

      The stunted social and academic skills were pretty apparent in retrospect once the schools reopened.

    • By Esophagus4 2025-11-212:058 reply

      How are you thinking about the socialization aspects of homeschooling vs not?

      I imagine part of the benefit of schooling is to socialize children with their peers so I’m curious how you thought about it.

    • By aidenn0 2025-11-212:031 reply

      > But the reason we are considering home schooling our younger kids was surprising. It says something about a system dedicated to teaching children when parents think they can do as well or better.

      What's the reason?

    • By danesparza 2025-11-2120:01

      It also has its own problems that haven't even been quantified yet.

      If you think that homeschooling is a panacea, I guess we're all about to f*ck around and find out...

    • By Atotalnoob 2025-11-213:185 reply

      I was homeschooled and it affected me terribly. Please don’t do it.

    • By AnimalMuppet 2025-11-212:184 reply

      One of the key issues in school is classroom size. A teacher with 30 kids is handicapped as a teacher compared to one with a smaller class.

      Let's say your family has four kids. As a family, that's large. But as a classroom size, it's really small. That gives you an advantage as a homeschooler over a public school teacher.

    • By mcphage 2025-11-212:153 reply

      > It says something about a system dedicated to teaching children when parents think they can do as well or better.

      6% of American think they can beat a grizzly bear in a fight. That says absolutely nothing about the bear, and says a lot about how misinformed people are.

    • By mdip 2025-11-226:46

         > It says something about a system dedicated to teaching children wen parents think they can do as well or better.
      
      I home schooled my children up to High School (and they are very, very successful students). That statement, right there, was the reason, but there was no ambiguity involved. I absolutely knew I could have happier children who were natural self-learners who wouldn't struggle in school when that time came if I did it myself.

      It took a lot of research on my end to get to that conclusion but I would have been just as good ignoring it and listening to the experience of a friend I made who home schooled all seven of her children, or talking to her kids. I did both; research led me to talk to her and her husband, talking to them confirmed I was making the right choice.

      Though I am Christian, it had absolutely nothing to do with religion (we taught the same science everyone else received; no "the Earth is 15,000 years old" or whatever nonsense). I even think there's reasonable evangelical arguments to be made that Christians should put their children in traditional schools, so this wasn't a faith choice for me. I loved High School and I went to a large High School. So "bullying" and the like had nothing to do with it.

      Had I not attended Public School, I probably wouldn't be doing what I love for a living and it was a couple of amazing teachers that went to bat for me, creating classes that didn't exist and letting me take HS classes while I was in Middle School, so when I say "I know I can do better" that's doesn't come with "because the public school system and the teachers are garbage." There's problems, there, for sure -- but my kids live in the #4 district and attend the #1 public High School in that district. It's a pretty fantastic school, the kids are friendly and I'm fine with it all around. I didn't think they'd do poorly regardless of how they were schooled, I just knew I could do better.

      That's not arrogance; I think the vast majority of parents could do better.

      It's because, as a parent, when they're young you can basically read their mind. That's an advantage a teacher doesn't get. You don't even have to "notice" that they're struggling or that they "know it cold and are bored", you just pace things on instinct and you deliver knowledge very close to the actual rate they can easily ingest it.

      The other advantage that would be hard to replicate is class size. I had a class of two. Two different grades, but all that meant was my daughter got a preview of (and often just ended up learning completely) whatever she had to do and whatever her brother was learning and her brother got a review every day.

      You can pretty much take out every other advantage of Home Schooling. Just those two result in a 6-7 hour whiteboard directed lesson and busy work time down to 45 minutes/child (really ... 30 most of the time). That also gave us a September to mid-April school year with generous vacations (otherwise we'd finish in February).

      It wasn't my goal to make genius, spelling-bee winners, or to put them years ahead of public school students. The latter absolutely happened, but we were only ever doing a single grade per year in every subject with pretty formal home school curriculum. There was just a lot of extra time to screw around exploring things beyond the books.

      I wanted them to learn better than they would in school and I wanted them to be able to be self-directed in learning. They are successful beyond my expectations in both areas.

      They've been in Public School, now, for four years. My son hasn't taken work home from school in ... really ... four years. Homework is assigned, he just finishes it. My daughter is the same way. Outside of midterms and finals (out of fear/paranoia, not necessity), they do not touch schoolwork at home.

      Despite not having taken a "real test" in their lives until enrollment, they placed in advanced classes. Despite them never receiving an independently graded assignment (or even one that had a grade written on it[0]), they both have a 4.0 GPA. My daughter had perfect scores in half of her classes last year.

      They are happy kids who aren't stressed out at school (because those 45 minute daily sessions, apparently, covered a lot of ground -- my son still talks about things "he did in, like, 7th Grade, Dad!"

      Really, though, forget all of the other reasons. It's worth doing it just for the relationship you form with your kids and that they form with their siblings. My teenagers don't act like teenagers. They act like happy young adults (because they are).

      It wasn't hard. I did the majority of it with my ex- wife (through a high-conflict divorce and high-conflict early years ... that was hard ... worth it, though).

      [0] You don't let your kids rack up debt by learning something less than very proficiently because you're the one that has to pay that debt when the later lesson comes that builds on that part, so yeah, they "got all As" in Home School ... because I don't like misery.

    • By 5upplied_demand 2025-11-2120:511 reply

      ==It says something about a system dedicated to teaching children when parents think they can do as well or better.==

      I think it also says something about the parents who think they can do as well or better.

    • By Yizahi 2025-11-2111:581 reply

      Poor kids :( . Hope the damage won't be lasting for them, at least they did went to proper schools previously and have some basics taught.

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